


Three of Swords

by yokainomiko



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, F/M, Insecurity, LMAO, Lack of Communication, Marinette treats Ladybug like a different person, So much angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 00:09:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17818139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yokainomiko/pseuds/yokainomiko
Summary: Marinette is sure that Adrien doesn't love her.  He loves Ladybug, and that means that Marinette is just along for the ride.Companion piece toTen of Wands.





	Three of Swords

**Author's Note:**

> I'm finally getting around to posting to the ML fandom! This is part of a pair of stories. The sequel should be posted shortly.

The problem as far as Marinette could tell was that back then they didn’t know each other: not really.

When she first learned that Adrien was Cat Noir, she was so pleased. As long as she remembered that fact she could speak in complete sentences around him. It was liberating! At last she could fawn over Adrien without sounding like a complete fool. She shared pastries, made him gloves, and offered video game tips. Finally they were real friends and not just friends by association.

She knew he didn’t love her, not yet anyway, but he loved Ladybug and Tikki constantly reminded her that Marinette _was_ Ladybug. Eventually Adrien would notice that they were the same and he would love Marinette. At least, that was the plan. But when caught up in reminding herself that Adrien = Cat Noir, she referenced something only Ladybug knew.

Before she knew it, Adrien had swept her up in his arms. He whispered over and over how much he loved her and how glad he was that Ladybug was Marinette.

Lovestruck fool she was, Marinette believed him.

They became a couple to equal numbers of elated and heartbroken congratulations. Adrien made puns. They flirted. Marinette glowed.

It took almost two years for 2 and 2 to make 4. She hadn’t thought much of it, but they rarely spent time alone. With his busy schedule, it made sense that they mostly participated in couples and group activities. But he always rejected her more physical overtures. For her eighteenth birthday, his father gave them a weekend getaway to allow them some rare time alone. Adrien insisted that they spend the whole trip experimenting with their abilities.

Cat Noir was always an absolute delight with his waggling eyebrows and innuendos. It didn’t even occur to Ladybug to be anything other than delighted with the attention. It wasn’t until they got back that she noticed that never once had Cat Noir called Ladybug, “Marinette.” It was always, “Bugaboo,” “Milady,” and of course, “Ladybug.”

It was _Marinette’s_ birthday. Adrien knew that. And he seemed so uncomfortable each time Ladybug called Cat, “Adrien.”

So Marinette started thinking and her heart fragmented. Tikki tried to convince her that Adrien loved her, but it was all there. Adrien just... didn’t love Marinette. Adrien loved Ladybug who just happened to be Marinette under the mask. After all these years, she wasn’t Ladybug enough. It ached to know that Marinette was second to herself.

“Adrien?” Marinette asked, her voice low and sad. They were studying in the library. For the moment it was just the two of them. Alya and Nino had slipped away for a quick moment behind some stacks. Marinette envied their comfortable intimacy.

“Yeah?” he replied. 

“You know I love you, right?” her voice almost seemed like it was shrinking as she spoke.

“Mmhmm...” he distractedly agreed.

“Do you love me?” Marinette was proud she got the question out without breaking. It wasn’t the first time she’d tried to ask the question.

Adrien had been glued to his notes from the moment Alya and Nino had excused themselves. While she waited for his answer, he finally looked at her. “Of course I do!” he seemed genuinely surprised. “How could anyone not love _the_ Ladybug?”

Marinette’s momentary joy quickly died. “I see,” she tonelessly commented.

“What’s this about?” She couldn’t help but notice it was such an obvious follow up question.

Yet somehow she wasn’t prepared for it. “Oh! Uhm,” Marinette shrugged. “I was just thinking about that weekend trip we had recently and well, we never...” she trailed off.

Adrien looked stricken. “I’m just not ready yet!”

Marinette sighed. “I’m not trying to force you. I was just considering... you know, the possibility that—”

Her boyfriend grabbed her hands. “If I’m going to make love to anyone, there is no doubt that I would pick you. I would only ever sleep with you,” he asserted.

She flushed. “Thank you,” she squeaked.

Adrien gave her hands a light squeeze. “It’s just too bad we can’t have sex in the suits, y’know?” he smiled warmly at the thought.

Marinette gaped at him. She waited for a “just kidding!” or a follow-up joke of some sort but after a brief moment he went back to studying.

Alya and Nino came back with well sated grins. Adrien joked about exhibitionist tendencies. Nino shoved him in response. It all seemed very normal.

But Marinette was lost in her thoughts. Adrien had proved it. He only loved Ladybug to the point that he could only be with Marinette in her suit. No wonder why all their best couple moments were between Cat Noir and Ladybug. She was naive to think that anyone would ever pick Marinette over Ladybug. Even now Adrien couldn’t fake loving Marinette long enough to trick her into being happy. 

That night Marinette went home and cried. When Cat Noir came by later she locked her trapdoor so that he couldn’t visit. It took a while but he left her alone. She heard him wish her a good night’s rest and sweet dreams. 

“Cheer up, Marinette!” Tikki chirped. “Adrien has to care at least a little! Just think about how long he waited for you to let him in tonight!”

Marinette shook her head. “No, you’re wrong, Tikki. He waited for Ladybug. If I had said I didn’t want to go hopping around the city he would’ve been so disappointed. Marinette Dupain-Cheng is so disappointing.”

Tikki frowned. “Don’t you dare say that, Marinette! Marinette Dupain-Cheng and Ladybug are the same! I didn’t pick you to hate yourself for not being more!”

The part-time heroine threw her face into her hands. “I can’t do this right now! I’m going to bed!” 

Nightmares hounded her. Adrien kept leaving her for Ladybug after Ladybug. As long as she was a Ladybug, anyone was good enough. She woke depressed and exhausted. If only she didn’t actually love Adrien: then she could let him go or at least be okay with only being partially enough for him.

But she did love him. Marinette loved his earnestness and his jokes. She loved the way his bright green eyes would narrow when he thought carefully. She loved his hair and how proud he was of it. She loved how hard he tried to make everyone feel included. She loved his banter with Plagg and his love of school. She loved how hard he worked as a model even though he didn’t like the work. She loved his devotion to his father who showed him so little affection. She loved his lonely heart that forgave Chloe over and over. Marinette even loved his love of Ladybug.

It just wasn’t enough.

**Author's Note:**

> The Three of Swords relates to heartbreak, discouragement when upright and break ups reversed. Marinette is on the edge of these two positions. I feel like at the end she's already considering herself broken up with even though she doesn't really have evidence that Adrien is going to dump her.


End file.
